Then First Great Western would be the one.
Last week only one journey home was on time, and I had such a poor experience I actually wrote to the Chief Exec, Mark Hopwood. A lackey from Customer Services now has me in a holding pattern and Im not holding my breath whilst I await a response.
Today has been another poor experience. Our train left Ealing Broadway 5 minutes after its due departure time of 17.33....not bad considering. Then we were held at Slough, and again somewhere in the middle of nowhere after Slough eventually arriving at Reading at 18.48, about the time I'd normally get home. I began to relax as it was only 20-ish minutes to home, may just get there in time to read my 2 young boys a story and put them to bed.
Then the driver came on "Ladies and Gentlemen I've just been told this is now a fast service to addict. if you are travelling to Tilehurst, Pangbourne, Goring & Streatley and Cholsey then please get off the train, you need to get off the train." So I and a few regulars I recognised did just that, stepping into the chaos of Reading station, where platform staff have an uncanny knack of vanishing mysteriously as you approach to get guidance on how you will actually get home.
I was a tad miffed to say the least, as were my fellow evictees from the train. Eventually I got to the info desk. Good news the next service was the 1857 from platform 9. Bad news it was also late, due in at 1909.
Well I went to platform 9 and waited patiently. A train pulled in at 1905, no longer for public use...damn. It then sat there, and was still sitting there at 1909 when I could see the train aI was meant to catch in the distance being held outside the station. And then the inevitable happened, it started moving towards the station and a platform change was announced. I joined the weary horde of now even more disgruntled passengers trying to squeeze onto the escalators and up onto the bridge to make our way to the new platform. I think we all made it, FGW staff probably realised if we hadn't then there may well have been a justifiable riot!
I have just got home at 1935, so only 45 minutes late. I've missed putting the boys to bed again.
As I said if Carlsberg did unreliable railways with poor communication then there really would only be one winner.
Monday, 28 May 2012
Thursday, 24 May 2012
They should call them misinformation boards
As I stood at Paddington at 9.30 ish tonight it appeared that the majority of trains were preparing, even the 9.15 to Swansea was preparing, not delayed, merely preparing for its eventual 9.38. I had hoped to hop on this train as far as Reading, but once it was announced it transpired a lot of Welsh people had also be preparing to ge those, so there was no room. It was only when I got to the platform to see the Taffia diving on board that any information was given to say why the train was still preparing, not delayed though. Transpires some animals had gotten on the line, if the misinformation boards were to be believed of course given that all those preparing trains were actually delayed. Maybe FGW thought by saying preparing we wouldn't notice.
As for the animals on the line, whatever happened to cow catchers being fitted to trains like in the Wild West, and days of early steam. Animal vs train, one winner surely, and if the animals have any sense they will get out of the way. I am of course assuming it was cows, or horses or sheep...unless of course a horde of guinea pigs had got on the line, after all we wouldn't want to harm cute little fluffy things like that.
Anyway got to Rwading and the misinformation boards said my train was due at 10.32. Then it was due at 10.35. It actually arrived at 10.38, but the misinformation board was doing that weird FGW Twilight Zone thing, stating the accurate time yet saying the train was still due at 10.35.
Maybe I should share this with my new friend Mark, who is Cheif Exec of FGW and who will respond to a letter I sent him shortly. What do you think, is it worth it?
As for the animals on the line, whatever happened to cow catchers being fitted to trains like in the Wild West, and days of early steam. Animal vs train, one winner surely, and if the animals have any sense they will get out of the way. I am of course assuming it was cows, or horses or sheep...unless of course a horde of guinea pigs had got on the line, after all we wouldn't want to harm cute little fluffy things like that.
Anyway got to Rwading and the misinformation boards said my train was due at 10.32. Then it was due at 10.35. It actually arrived at 10.38, but the misinformation board was doing that weird FGW Twilight Zone thing, stating the accurate time yet saying the train was still due at 10.35.
Maybe I should share this with my new friend Mark, who is Cheif Exec of FGW and who will respond to a letter I sent him shortly. What do you think, is it worth it?
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
Mushroom management is the FGW way!
I know FGW is not to blame for the track, but today has been a day of trackside equipment failure, and not just on my FGW route. It all started at Dartford, where lots of railway employees paraded the platforms as train after train was delayed. Did any of them know the issue...well they all thought they did, but each answer was different. Good to know ineptness spreads beyond FGW. When that train to Charing Cross finally arrived we then had the fun of each station platform sign saying it was a Victoria bound service, and the driver having to announce it wasn't. then there was the fun of watching all the passengers wanting to go to Victoria getting off, and all the Charing Cross ones get on, plus debates, despite the drivers very clear announcements as to where the train was going. Chaos reigned supreme.
When I eventually got to Charing Cross and headed to the Bakerloo line I did so in hope that within 30 mins I'd be on a train out of Paddington heading home. As ai emerged from the Underground those hopes we're dashed.
Every train had the word 'delayed' beside it. I tried to find out what was going on. There was the occasional muttered announcement, but due to the large crowd and noise of conversation (mostly on mobiles saying sorry I'll be late home...no, no idea when they will be running again etc.) these announcements were as much use as a chocolate fire guard.
Thank goodness for the t'interweb, as that told me the problem. It also told me things weren't much better at Waterloo so I may as well wait it out (despite helpful advice from a couple of FGW employees to go to Waterloo!)
To all who stood with me, and who joined various stampedes for the trains when they started running, I feel your pain.
I was just about to buy a bottle of water and sandwich having queued for a wee while when my train was announced. I joined the Oxford bound passengers who thronged through the station like a herd of migrating wildebeeste and was delighted to arrive at a train less platform. The train arrived 5 minutes later, and there was then a vigorous scrummaging session as some impatient fools tried to get on as others tried to get off.
Eventually all was calm, the train was boarded and we got underway.
Still FGW showed they excelled at one thing, mushroom management...they left us in the dark (in terms of communication) covered us in shit (in terms of wrong advice) and hoped it would all turn out ok.
When I eventually got to Charing Cross and headed to the Bakerloo line I did so in hope that within 30 mins I'd be on a train out of Paddington heading home. As ai emerged from the Underground those hopes we're dashed.
Every train had the word 'delayed' beside it. I tried to find out what was going on. There was the occasional muttered announcement, but due to the large crowd and noise of conversation (mostly on mobiles saying sorry I'll be late home...no, no idea when they will be running again etc.) these announcements were as much use as a chocolate fire guard.
Thank goodness for the t'interweb, as that told me the problem. It also told me things weren't much better at Waterloo so I may as well wait it out (despite helpful advice from a couple of FGW employees to go to Waterloo!)
To all who stood with me, and who joined various stampedes for the trains when they started running, I feel your pain.
I was just about to buy a bottle of water and sandwich having queued for a wee while when my train was announced. I joined the Oxford bound passengers who thronged through the station like a herd of migrating wildebeeste and was delighted to arrive at a train less platform. The train arrived 5 minutes later, and there was then a vigorous scrummaging session as some impatient fools tried to get on as others tried to get off.
Eventually all was calm, the train was boarded and we got underway.
Still FGW showed they excelled at one thing, mushroom management...they left us in the dark (in terms of communication) covered us in shit (in terms of wrong advice) and hoped it would all turn out ok.
Saturday, 19 May 2012
Out of the mouths of babes...
Its bad enough when trains are late during the working week, yesterday mornings being 22 minutes late.
But when you have a family outing with 2 excited little boys, waiting for a delayed train is even worse! You get the following conversation with number one son;
"Is that one our train Daddy" Reply,"No son it's not."
"what about that one" "No son that one isn't either."
"Oh....so when will it be our one?" "I don't know son."
"Why is our train late daddy?" "I don't know son, the information screen up there just says delayed."
"oh Daddy I can see a train coming, is that one ours?" "No son, that's a freight train."
"Daddy, are trains always late?" "Not always son."
"But trains make you late home lots" "Yes they do son"
"Trains are rubbish daddy...." long pause from Daddy "Oh look theirs our train."
2 small boys "Yeah!"
Number one son..."At last that was a long boring wait."
Well at least he gained an insight into Daddy's travels with FGW. And even though it was already late it still did the ridiculous long pause at Didcot rather than trying to make up time. Again number one son had a view "Daddy, we've been waiting here for a very long time, and we are already late!"
If a 4 year old can see it why not a large transport company!
But when you have a family outing with 2 excited little boys, waiting for a delayed train is even worse! You get the following conversation with number one son;
"Is that one our train Daddy" Reply,"No son it's not."
"what about that one" "No son that one isn't either."
"Oh....so when will it be our one?" "I don't know son."
"Why is our train late daddy?" "I don't know son, the information screen up there just says delayed."
"oh Daddy I can see a train coming, is that one ours?" "No son, that's a freight train."
"Daddy, are trains always late?" "Not always son."
"But trains make you late home lots" "Yes they do son"
"Trains are rubbish daddy...." long pause from Daddy "Oh look theirs our train."
2 small boys "Yeah!"
Number one son..."At last that was a long boring wait."
Well at least he gained an insight into Daddy's travels with FGW. And even though it was already late it still did the ridiculous long pause at Didcot rather than trying to make up time. Again number one son had a view "Daddy, we've been waiting here for a very long time, and we are already late!"
If a 4 year old can see it why not a large transport company!
Monday, 14 May 2012
Don't worry my Lord, I have a cunning plan...
I read with interest today that one of the higher ups at Chiltern Railways obviously went to The University of Cunning, Cunnungtown, in the County of Cunning, as they have asked Tony Robinson, aka Baldrick from Blackadder, to teach their drivers how to do comedy announcements to brighten up passengers journeys.
What an interesting idea. I wonder if FGW have given it some thought, and which announcers they would use. I have a few thoughts.
Richard Wilson in Victor Meldrew mode could say, "What, we've arrived on time....I don't believe it!" or "Will you bloody well move down the train so other people can get on,"
Max Boyce or Rhod Gilbert could obviously do any Welsh journeys.I can imagine Max's famous catchphrase in use "Look we were on time yesterday, I know because I was there!"
Russell Howard could be the voice on Bristol services, "Good news, we were only delayed by 15 minutes."
Basil Fawlty could thrash the trains with a branch whenever they are late, and be the voice of services passing through Devon...I'd pay to see that.
Rab C Nesbit could be used to discourage customers who insist on using a seat for their luggage..."See you'se people wie yer bags on a perfectly good seat that I could sit ma arse on if it wisnae for yon bags...you think we're scum...well we may may be scum boy...but my wee cheeks are a damn site more important so shift it you wee streak o' pish."
They are just a few of my thoughts, which I hope FGW would find interesting, and not one apology amongst them...not sure who I'd have for those announcements.
So who would you like to hear, and what things can you imagine them saying?
It's goodnight from me....and it's goodnight from him ;-)
What an interesting idea. I wonder if FGW have given it some thought, and which announcers they would use. I have a few thoughts.
Richard Wilson in Victor Meldrew mode could say, "What, we've arrived on time....I don't believe it!" or "Will you bloody well move down the train so other people can get on,"
Max Boyce or Rhod Gilbert could obviously do any Welsh journeys.I can imagine Max's famous catchphrase in use "Look we were on time yesterday, I know because I was there!"
Russell Howard could be the voice on Bristol services, "Good news, we were only delayed by 15 minutes."
Basil Fawlty could thrash the trains with a branch whenever they are late, and be the voice of services passing through Devon...I'd pay to see that.
Rab C Nesbit could be used to discourage customers who insist on using a seat for their luggage..."See you'se people wie yer bags on a perfectly good seat that I could sit ma arse on if it wisnae for yon bags...you think we're scum...well we may may be scum boy...but my wee cheeks are a damn site more important so shift it you wee streak o' pish."
They are just a few of my thoughts, which I hope FGW would find interesting, and not one apology amongst them...not sure who I'd have for those announcements.
So who would you like to hear, and what things can you imagine them saying?
It's goodnight from me....and it's goodnight from him ;-)
Thursday, 10 May 2012
I'm still standing...
Continuing the theme of Elton John titles...well if the second one used can be called a theme.
I find myself standing on a regularly overcrowded service from Paddington to home, wondering why it is FGW do not seem to be able to match passenger numbers to the number of carriages needed.
My exasperation is added to by looking into an unused First Class section, I mean on the average cattle truck the only thing differentiating First Class from standard is a door and a bit of cloth on the back of the seat. Couldn't they do away with the frivolity of First Class and give seats to the masses?
Some mornings I catch a 125 to London, which stops at my village. It has 3 carriages of first class, which are often used by 9 or 10 passengers in total. Again a real waste of space. Couldn't some kind of flexibility and common sense be applied, or would FGW rather have those less wealthy commuters (who maybe only pay £5-6000 a year in fares a year )stand for the duration of their journeys.
Come on FGW think about it!
I find myself standing on a regularly overcrowded service from Paddington to home, wondering why it is FGW do not seem to be able to match passenger numbers to the number of carriages needed.
My exasperation is added to by looking into an unused First Class section, I mean on the average cattle truck the only thing differentiating First Class from standard is a door and a bit of cloth on the back of the seat. Couldn't they do away with the frivolity of First Class and give seats to the masses?
Some mornings I catch a 125 to London, which stops at my village. It has 3 carriages of first class, which are often used by 9 or 10 passengers in total. Again a real waste of space. Couldn't some kind of flexibility and common sense be applied, or would FGW rather have those less wealthy commuters (who maybe only pay £5-6000 a year in fares a year )stand for the duration of their journeys.
Come on FGW think about it!
Friday, 4 May 2012
It's not my fault they use invisible ink!
As I heard the slightly weary cry of "Tickets and passes from Reading please" on the London bound service this morning I pulled out my faded, due to expire on 9th May, monthly season and railcard. When she got to me I passed it over to the Ticket Inspector saying cheerily, "Sorry, it's a bit faded," not really my fault but I still apologised.
On my journey home the previous time it was checked the Ticket Inspector looked both my photo ID railcard and season ticket over and said, "That's alright sir, I can just make out 9th May. To be honest the ink on these is a bit rubbish and comes off a bit easy these days."
However not this harridan, she pursed her lips, and scrutinised the ticket and railcard in a rather disapproving manner before saying "I cannot verify that this railcard matches the season ticket." "Pardon," I responded. "Your ticket is very faded, and I cannot see that the number in this box (she pointed at the ticket at this point) matches your railcard." "Ok," I replied, "I can see that it's a bit faded, and one of your colleagues and I spoke about the fact it happens a lot only a couple of days ago, but he could see the expiry date." "I can see the expiry date, but not the number linking this season ticket to the railcard sir. I should really get you to purchase a ticket for your route today." "Pardon," I again said, this time a little incredulously. "I should get you to purchase the relevant ticket, where did you start your journey sir?" I was a bit miffed at this point to say the least, "Cholsey, where I paid over £400 for the privilege of this monthly travel card, so I am not very happy at the thought of having to pay you about £45 today. Surely you cannot blame me for the fact that the ink has come off, as I have kept it in the wallet your company provide." She paused, "Well I cannot see the reference number...." at this point I may have actually groaned...I know I did something that made her pause..."but I will assume that this is indeed your ticket." Well that 'assume was the final straw for me, "I may have the receipt in my wallet, if you really need to say it" and I'll confess there was more than a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
Without any hint of sarcasm in response she said "Well that would be really helpful sir." I reached into my pocket, found the credit card holder slip and flourished it, almost triumphantly...like a QC in court producing the clinching bit of evidence to clear their client. "Thank you sir, here's you travel card and rail card."
As she handed them back I said, "can I make a suggestion before you move on?," "Certainly sir", she replied. "Given that these tickets are rather expensive could you suggest your company gets some better ink, as it would make your job so much easier...and be a bit more pleasant for your customers."
"Thank you sir, I will pass that on." Not sure if she will to be fair.
On my journey home the previous time it was checked the Ticket Inspector looked both my photo ID railcard and season ticket over and said, "That's alright sir, I can just make out 9th May. To be honest the ink on these is a bit rubbish and comes off a bit easy these days."
However not this harridan, she pursed her lips, and scrutinised the ticket and railcard in a rather disapproving manner before saying "I cannot verify that this railcard matches the season ticket." "Pardon," I responded. "Your ticket is very faded, and I cannot see that the number in this box (she pointed at the ticket at this point) matches your railcard." "Ok," I replied, "I can see that it's a bit faded, and one of your colleagues and I spoke about the fact it happens a lot only a couple of days ago, but he could see the expiry date." "I can see the expiry date, but not the number linking this season ticket to the railcard sir. I should really get you to purchase a ticket for your route today." "Pardon," I again said, this time a little incredulously. "I should get you to purchase the relevant ticket, where did you start your journey sir?" I was a bit miffed at this point to say the least, "Cholsey, where I paid over £400 for the privilege of this monthly travel card, so I am not very happy at the thought of having to pay you about £45 today. Surely you cannot blame me for the fact that the ink has come off, as I have kept it in the wallet your company provide." She paused, "Well I cannot see the reference number...." at this point I may have actually groaned...I know I did something that made her pause..."but I will assume that this is indeed your ticket." Well that 'assume was the final straw for me, "I may have the receipt in my wallet, if you really need to say it" and I'll confess there was more than a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
Without any hint of sarcasm in response she said "Well that would be really helpful sir." I reached into my pocket, found the credit card holder slip and flourished it, almost triumphantly...like a QC in court producing the clinching bit of evidence to clear their client. "Thank you sir, here's you travel card and rail card."
As she handed them back I said, "can I make a suggestion before you move on?," "Certainly sir", she replied. "Given that these tickets are rather expensive could you suggest your company gets some better ink, as it would make your job so much easier...and be a bit more pleasant for your customers."
"Thank you sir, I will pass that on." Not sure if she will to be fair.
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