As I heard the slightly weary cry of "Tickets and passes from Reading please" on the London bound service this morning I pulled out my faded, due to expire on 9th May, monthly season and railcard. When she got to me I passed it over to the Ticket Inspector saying cheerily, "Sorry, it's a bit faded," not really my fault but I still apologised.
On my journey home the previous time it was checked the Ticket Inspector looked both my photo ID railcard and season ticket over and said, "That's alright sir, I can just make out 9th May. To be honest the ink on these is a bit rubbish and comes off a bit easy these days."
However not this harridan, she pursed her lips, and scrutinised the ticket and railcard in a rather disapproving manner before saying "I cannot verify that this railcard matches the season ticket." "Pardon," I responded. "Your ticket is very faded, and I cannot see that the number in this box (she pointed at the ticket at this point) matches your railcard." "Ok," I replied, "I can see that it's a bit faded, and one of your colleagues and I spoke about the fact it happens a lot only a couple of days ago, but he could see the expiry date." "I can see the expiry date, but not the number linking this season ticket to the railcard sir. I should really get you to purchase a ticket for your route today." "Pardon," I again said, this time a little incredulously. "I should get you to purchase the relevant ticket, where did you start your journey sir?" I was a bit miffed at this point to say the least, "Cholsey, where I paid over £400 for the privilege of this monthly travel card, so I am not very happy at the thought of having to pay you about £45 today. Surely you cannot blame me for the fact that the ink has come off, as I have kept it in the wallet your company provide." She paused, "Well I cannot see the reference number...." at this point I may have actually groaned...I know I did something that made her pause..."but I will assume that this is indeed your ticket." Well that 'assume was the final straw for me, "I may have the receipt in my wallet, if you really need to say it" and I'll confess there was more than a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
Without any hint of sarcasm in response she said "Well that would be really helpful sir." I reached into my pocket, found the credit card holder slip and flourished it, almost triumphantly...like a QC in court producing the clinching bit of evidence to clear their client. "Thank you sir, here's you travel card and rail card."
As she handed them back I said, "can I make a suggestion before you move on?," "Certainly sir", she replied. "Given that these tickets are rather expensive could you suggest your company gets some better ink, as it would make your job so much easier...and be a bit more pleasant for your customers."
"Thank you sir, I will pass that on." Not sure if she will to be fair.
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