So sad...so sad...I'm now stuck at Reading Station, Sorry doesn't seem to be the hardest word...
I wonder if Sir Elton John ever used FGW trains. If he did he may have had a rethink about be of his classic songs. It seems to me FGW are consistently sorry.
For example in the last 15 minutes I've heard 10 very sorry announcements. They were sorry to announce various issues. It started with our driver being sorry to announce that our train was terminating at Reading. She was so sorry she told us three times that we'd be terminating our journey and have to make alternative arrangements to get home due to a mechanical fault. Then sat on the platform I've heard they are sorry for one cancellation, a 27 minute delay and an 8 minute delay. No mention of the train I'm due to catch but given one of the South bound delayed trains is due to arrive at the platform I'm waiting on at the same time as my Northbound service is due, I'm guessing another apology will soon be winging its way over the tannoy.
Not really sure what the fault was on our particular train as it was moving along quite nicely until the driver spoke. And it stopped ok so no issue with the brakes.
Still FGW are really sorry for being unable to perform the basic function I pay them for. That's alright then, they are sorry I won't be in time to see my two little boys before they go to bed. Or the man next to me will who coaches blind kids football will miss half their session, or the little old lady nearby who has just been to a funeral is delayed when all she wants to do is get back to her house for a cup of tea "after a very long and emotional day."
Sorry seems to be an easy word when it comes to FGW absolving themselves of their accountabilities.
And guess what alive just heard again....at least it's not about the train I'm about to catch.
Monday, 30 April 2012
Friday, 27 April 2012
Who'd have thunk it? 4 good journeys in a week.
In the interests of fair play and objectivity I just wanted to acknowledge that my last 4journeys one FGW trains have all ran to time. Well done FGW you have met my expectations on 4 occassions this week. I have used your service 10 times in total, but 4/10 actually seems a good return based on my normal experiences. Take a bow and soak up the applause from me as I say well done.
Obviously some may say I am damning you with faint praise, however I would deny that. You have achieved a 40% success rate. That's 40% better than most weeks. I am now hoping you can maintain, and indeed exceed this next week. Maybe you could even get it right 50% of the time...I know that's an improvement of 10% and a quite a stretch, but if you don't shoot for the stars you'll never reach the moon.
So as I end my working week and look forward to a train travel free weekend I say once more well done, and may this be a sign of things heading onwards and upwards.
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Same old, same old within FGW twilight zone
So far this week every train I've caught has been late, except they haven't all been because the FGW info boards say they are on time, and even arrived, even when I can't see a train at the platform.
Maybe this explains why people fall in front of trains, as they blindly believe the information on the sign and step forth into the Invisible Express.
Maybe we have entered the Twilight Zone, and there really is a train their, it's just not in the dimension I am standing in.
In this parallel world, Planet FGW, all is well, services are 100% reliable, every customer gets a seat, there are never trackside equipment issues, there are no...what's the word I'm looking for...mutters...no....eccentrics (that'll do) waiting to pounce and sit by you, airc conditioning works perfectly, staff are all pleasant and helpful, in fact all is right with the world.
Sounds idyllic from a travellers point of view, if only I could find my way there....
Maybe this explains why people fall in front of trains, as they blindly believe the information on the sign and step forth into the Invisible Express.
Maybe we have entered the Twilight Zone, and there really is a train their, it's just not in the dimension I am standing in.
In this parallel world, Planet FGW, all is well, services are 100% reliable, every customer gets a seat, there are never trackside equipment issues, there are no...what's the word I'm looking for...mutters...no....eccentrics (that'll do) waiting to pounce and sit by you, airc conditioning works perfectly, staff are all pleasant and helpful, in fact all is right with the world.
Sounds idyllic from a travellers point of view, if only I could find my way there....
Thursday, 19 April 2012
2 for the price of 1, plus the man who talks burgers!
As someone who works in retail thought I'd do a special offer in terms of challenges to FGW tonight.
1) Why do FGW insist on having 3 first class carriages on their fast services when they don't ever have enough passengers utilising the service to fill 1? This results in many normal travellers stood in standard aisles and vestibules whilst plenty of seats remain empty. Surely from a safety point of view it would be better to re direct standing passengers to these seats. Even better have the right number of relevant coaches, after all standard tickets cost enough! Sort it out.
2) why let a train leave the station, travel 200 yards then stop and wait 5 minutes for freight train to rumble over some points, before then progressing at a snails pace to the next station. This made us 10 minutes late by the first stop in the final leg of the journey. Why not give the passenger train priority at rush hour as I'm reliably informed by a pal of mine who is a self confessed transport nut, rather than making everyone late home. Mind you we all used our phones to contact loved ones, so maybe FGW has a deal with various phone networks to increase usage...or am I over analysing things a tad.
Well that's the moans, now for one of those only seen on a train commute. As I got on the packed train from Paddington and found a little space in the vestibule I saw a man looking out the opposite door. He was talking, and I assumed he must be in his phone. I assumed wrong. "your looking good," he said, "good enough to eat." Given he was staring at the blacked out windows of the train opposite I had 2 thoughts at this stage. One was he was a true train spotter, the second was he was talking to me, in which case I should move. Each to their own and all that but all that is not of interest to me. Then he continued "where to start though....the lettuce, the tomato, the bun, or the meat..." which he said almost adoringly. There was a rustle of paper then I saw him raise a burger from that well known chain, Burger King, to his lips. Whilst this was going on a lady joined us in vestibule. She gave a start when the man said "Mmmm so good...I want more of you," as he continued in his private world of food ecstasy. I think she thought for a moment he was talking to her. He became more ecstatic as he ate..."oh yes, this is what I wanted," and the lady leant across to me asking very quietly "Is he talking to his food?" The man was in a state of almost orgasmic delight and didn't hear me say "Yes, he really is." As the line in the film goes, I'll have what he's having.
1) Why do FGW insist on having 3 first class carriages on their fast services when they don't ever have enough passengers utilising the service to fill 1? This results in many normal travellers stood in standard aisles and vestibules whilst plenty of seats remain empty. Surely from a safety point of view it would be better to re direct standing passengers to these seats. Even better have the right number of relevant coaches, after all standard tickets cost enough! Sort it out.
2) why let a train leave the station, travel 200 yards then stop and wait 5 minutes for freight train to rumble over some points, before then progressing at a snails pace to the next station. This made us 10 minutes late by the first stop in the final leg of the journey. Why not give the passenger train priority at rush hour as I'm reliably informed by a pal of mine who is a self confessed transport nut, rather than making everyone late home. Mind you we all used our phones to contact loved ones, so maybe FGW has a deal with various phone networks to increase usage...or am I over analysing things a tad.
Well that's the moans, now for one of those only seen on a train commute. As I got on the packed train from Paddington and found a little space in the vestibule I saw a man looking out the opposite door. He was talking, and I assumed he must be in his phone. I assumed wrong. "your looking good," he said, "good enough to eat." Given he was staring at the blacked out windows of the train opposite I had 2 thoughts at this stage. One was he was a true train spotter, the second was he was talking to me, in which case I should move. Each to their own and all that but all that is not of interest to me. Then he continued "where to start though....the lettuce, the tomato, the bun, or the meat..." which he said almost adoringly. There was a rustle of paper then I saw him raise a burger from that well known chain, Burger King, to his lips. Whilst this was going on a lady joined us in vestibule. She gave a start when the man said "Mmmm so good...I want more of you," as he continued in his private world of food ecstasy. I think she thought for a moment he was talking to her. He became more ecstatic as he ate..."oh yes, this is what I wanted," and the lady leant across to me asking very quietly "Is he talking to his food?" The man was in a state of almost orgasmic delight and didn't hear me say "Yes, he really is." As the line in the film goes, I'll have what he's having.
Tuesday, 17 April 2012
Waiting for what...only FGW really know
Having missed yet another connecting service having been held "whilst a platform becomes available" at Reading I have to ask a question.
Given they now have more platforms, and the know the times trains are due to arrive why on Earth do they then need to make trains wait until a platform becomes available? It defies all logic, especially as the preceding service to arrive at the platform we used had left 15 minutes previously. So what exactly were we waiting for?
Was it Godot? Was it a sign from whatever Divine Being you may believe in? I don't really know.
I do know that it wasn't for a platform to become available, as it already was.
I also ow I won't be asking FGW to sort out any drinking parties in a brewery in the near future as that would go horribly wrong. At best they'd make me wait for a pointless reason.
I'm off now to ponder the issue of drunken logic, having seen a rather worse for wear couple being directed to the appropriate platform for their train 3 times now, but they have returned once more to platform 9 as that's where they always get their train from...
Given they now have more platforms, and the know the times trains are due to arrive why on Earth do they then need to make trains wait until a platform becomes available? It defies all logic, especially as the preceding service to arrive at the platform we used had left 15 minutes previously. So what exactly were we waiting for?
Was it Godot? Was it a sign from whatever Divine Being you may believe in? I don't really know.
I do know that it wasn't for a platform to become available, as it already was.
I also ow I won't be asking FGW to sort out any drinking parties in a brewery in the near future as that would go horribly wrong. At best they'd make me wait for a pointless reason.
I'm off now to ponder the issue of drunken logic, having seen a rather worse for wear couple being directed to the appropriate platform for their train 3 times now, but they have returned once more to platform 9 as that's where they always get their train from...
Monday, 16 April 2012
Ice cold in Alex it maybe, but not on an FGW train
So once again I am sat on an overcrowded train, sweltering in the heat, with all the windows closed so that the air con can work to full efficiency.
As far as I can tell it is working with the same efficiency as Her Majesties Revenue do in ensuring that the UKs highest earners all pay their full income tax. (For non UK nationals the Chancellor of the Exchequer was shocked to find that the vast majority of the rich in the UK actually avoid paying the full rate of income tax, despite this being common knowledge to the man on the street, this info is purely for your knowledge rather than this becoming a political blog, to ensure you get the context of my analogy about the air con.)
And when you try and rebel and open the window the sodding ticket inspector shuts it "to allow the air con to work properly." Well it hasn't worked for 30 minutes, why will it suddenly work now? I asked this what I considered perfectly reasonable question, and quite politely too. I was met with a jobs worth shake of the head and a "tut" as they moved off without answering. All I will say is G, a hero amongst ticket collectors who I have referred to previously, would have had the balls to answer. In fact I think he'd just have summed up the situation and opened more windows!
The only relief is the frequent stops when the doors open and a faint draught flutters through the carriage. I've often wondered why some people insist on standing by the doors rather than sitting in perfectly good seats, now I think I know the answer.
Still the ticket inspector will probably get off soon, then I'll rebel again and open the window....if the heat hasn't sapped all my strength by then.
As far as I can tell it is working with the same efficiency as Her Majesties Revenue do in ensuring that the UKs highest earners all pay their full income tax. (For non UK nationals the Chancellor of the Exchequer was shocked to find that the vast majority of the rich in the UK actually avoid paying the full rate of income tax, despite this being common knowledge to the man on the street, this info is purely for your knowledge rather than this becoming a political blog, to ensure you get the context of my analogy about the air con.)
And when you try and rebel and open the window the sodding ticket inspector shuts it "to allow the air con to work properly." Well it hasn't worked for 30 minutes, why will it suddenly work now? I asked this what I considered perfectly reasonable question, and quite politely too. I was met with a jobs worth shake of the head and a "tut" as they moved off without answering. All I will say is G, a hero amongst ticket collectors who I have referred to previously, would have had the balls to answer. In fact I think he'd just have summed up the situation and opened more windows!
The only relief is the frequent stops when the doors open and a faint draught flutters through the carriage. I've often wondered why some people insist on standing by the doors rather than sitting in perfectly good seats, now I think I know the answer.
Still the ticket inspector will probably get off soon, then I'll rebel again and open the window....if the heat hasn't sapped all my strength by then.
Thursday, 12 April 2012
A hero amongst ticket inspectors
As I sit here on platform 9 waiting for the delayed 2309, I thought I'd tell the tale of G a true knight of the rails and hero of FGW.
On a similarly late journey home I and a number of others found ourselves in a carriage with 3 rather annoying chaps who never tired of making neighing noises and laughing. From Slough, through Reading and up to Goring they continued their jolly japes. Then G entered the carriage.
"Tickets and passes" was his war cry. The 3 young man produced their tickets. "How old are you?" asked G, eyes narrowing in the same way that Dirty Harry's do when he asks if someone is feeling lucky.
"16" they all answered, puffing out their chests in a 'and we obviously look a lot older' kind of way. G scrutinised the tickets and began to smile..."Oh dear'" he said, "you've bought child tickets, these are only valid if you are 15 or under." The neighing stopped and a similar silence as that heard in old westerns when a stranger enters the saloon fell over the carriage.
G broke the silence "where are you going?"
"Oxford," all 3 said as one, then one broke ranks "but I'm not really 15, he is," pointing at his mate opposite, "but we're not," pointing to his mate beside him.
G smiled, "Genteleman, we can do this the easy way, or you can make it hard for yourselves (he really was channeling his inner Dirty Harry.) You are either over 16 so can pay £20 to upgrade all your tickets, or when we arrive at Cholsey you can leave the train."
He then went silent....
After a few protests the one proclaimed to be the eldest said "How much was that again?"
Well played G, you are a giant amongst ticket inspectors, and the little buggers didn't utter another word.
Oh and if anyone's wondering the train I was waiting for was 12 minutes late when it arrived, and there are a larger group of annoying youths on board. Where's G when you need him?
On a similarly late journey home I and a number of others found ourselves in a carriage with 3 rather annoying chaps who never tired of making neighing noises and laughing. From Slough, through Reading and up to Goring they continued their jolly japes. Then G entered the carriage.
"Tickets and passes" was his war cry. The 3 young man produced their tickets. "How old are you?" asked G, eyes narrowing in the same way that Dirty Harry's do when he asks if someone is feeling lucky.
"16" they all answered, puffing out their chests in a 'and we obviously look a lot older' kind of way. G scrutinised the tickets and began to smile..."Oh dear'" he said, "you've bought child tickets, these are only valid if you are 15 or under." The neighing stopped and a similar silence as that heard in old westerns when a stranger enters the saloon fell over the carriage.
G broke the silence "where are you going?"
"Oxford," all 3 said as one, then one broke ranks "but I'm not really 15, he is," pointing at his mate opposite, "but we're not," pointing to his mate beside him.
G smiled, "Genteleman, we can do this the easy way, or you can make it hard for yourselves (he really was channeling his inner Dirty Harry.) You are either over 16 so can pay £20 to upgrade all your tickets, or when we arrive at Cholsey you can leave the train."
He then went silent....
After a few protests the one proclaimed to be the eldest said "How much was that again?"
Well played G, you are a giant amongst ticket inspectors, and the little buggers didn't utter another word.
Oh and if anyone's wondering the train I was waiting for was 12 minutes late when it arrived, and there are a larger group of annoying youths on board. Where's G when you need him?
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
The loneliness of a short distance runner
After mistiming my exit from the house today I found myself sprinting down the path to the station as the 7.20am train that I wished to catch was pulling in. I accelerated as I saw the orange lights come on above the doors, I pushed myself to go faster as I heard and saw people boarding, I took the stairs at the station 3 at a time, I heard the doors shutting and just as I got on the platform and reached to open the door heard the clunk of the lock connect.
I looked towards the guard, a man I see regularly, and have even struck up conversations with, opening my arms imploringly to see if he could unlock the doors on the stationary 125. No he said making a crossing motion with his arms. I was disappointed as I have seen him do so before for a number of young attractive ladies who have made a similar last minute dash. Why would he not do the same for an overweight red haired Scotsman? He's never discriminated on grounds of hair colour before.
Then as I dejectedly stepped back from the train he waved...I looked round and as there was no one else on the platform I knew he was waving at me. I suddenly felt lonely, like an insider looking in as others took their seats. It took me back to that feeling you have as a young child at school, when you know someone is having a party, all your friends are nvited and your not. Still not one to dwell on those feelings, and just to show no hard feelings I waved back.
.....and if I time my connection right I can beat him to Paddington and ask why he waits for young attractive women who don't give him the time of day, but not for someone who has actually entered into conversation with him...
The train left at 7.20:16 so unlocking the doors for me would not have made much difference, after all I have to stand and wait for late trains often enough, surely once I could have got the same treatment as the attractive females who board at Cholsey get? Or is it because he mistook my red hair for ginger? I must ask next time I see him.
I looked towards the guard, a man I see regularly, and have even struck up conversations with, opening my arms imploringly to see if he could unlock the doors on the stationary 125. No he said making a crossing motion with his arms. I was disappointed as I have seen him do so before for a number of young attractive ladies who have made a similar last minute dash. Why would he not do the same for an overweight red haired Scotsman? He's never discriminated on grounds of hair colour before.
Then as I dejectedly stepped back from the train he waved...I looked round and as there was no one else on the platform I knew he was waving at me. I suddenly felt lonely, like an insider looking in as others took their seats. It took me back to that feeling you have as a young child at school, when you know someone is having a party, all your friends are nvited and your not. Still not one to dwell on those feelings, and just to show no hard feelings I waved back.
.....and if I time my connection right I can beat him to Paddington and ask why he waits for young attractive women who don't give him the time of day, but not for someone who has actually entered into conversation with him...
The train left at 7.20:16 so unlocking the doors for me would not have made much difference, after all I have to stand and wait for late trains often enough, surely once I could have got the same treatment as the attractive females who board at Cholsey get? Or is it because he mistook my red hair for ginger? I must ask next time I see him.
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Small children plus rush hour commuter train = a little dose of honesty
As the father of 2 small boys, a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 year old ("but I'll be 5 next birthday Daddy",) I just want to marvel at the parents, some of whom I recognise as fellow regular commuters, who exposé their small children to a commuters lifestyle.
Do they do this so the kids appreciate the pain and suffering Mummy or Daddy have to go through just to buy them the next little treat they receive? Do they do this to try and brighten their fellow passengers day. Or is there some other reason?
Like today where having been charmed by a pair of little angels one fellow passenger was then soaked by a water pistol. Thankfully it wasn't me, as I'm not sure I'd have done the politely English thing my fellow passenger did, "no, no it's quite all right," to the mildly indifferent parent. I think I'd have been a typically blunt Scotsman and put a little bit of the fear of God into the little Angels....didn't do me any harm, and I learnt how to be well behaved very quickly...my Mum had this look and Dad just moved his hand slightly, yet never had to "dod yer lugs" (clip your ear.) Obviously I do not necessarily condone corporal punishment...but I have practiced my Mums look, and it works.
Anyway after the water pistol incident we the had 5 minutes of the kids fighting over a seat, literally. This time a very nice lady, and gentleman suffered, as stray feet and fists missed their intended mark. Again both said nothing (why?) There was a palpable sense of relief when the Angels and their indifferent parent left the train a couple of stops ago.
But I don't blame the kids. They had been penned in as we always are, feeling hot and stuffy, but lacking the inhibitions of the average adult. They were happy to let us all know what they thought of the experience "but I'm bored and I'm hot mummy....and she's in my seat now...lots not fair" and (I loved this) "why is that mans bag on the seat? That lady has to stand now. Does he have to buy a ticket for his bag?"
They know what it feels like to travel on FGW. But maybe their last question sums up why people bring the kids on the train. No holding back from them, instead their inquisitive little minds ask the questions adults are now to afraid to. I'm not sure if that's worth the mayhem they can cause but maybe we should take a leaf from their books and ask the same questions of our fellow travellers whenever they are a little selfish. And maybe we should all invest in water pistols so we can squirt the little angels back?
Do they do this so the kids appreciate the pain and suffering Mummy or Daddy have to go through just to buy them the next little treat they receive? Do they do this to try and brighten their fellow passengers day. Or is there some other reason?
Like today where having been charmed by a pair of little angels one fellow passenger was then soaked by a water pistol. Thankfully it wasn't me, as I'm not sure I'd have done the politely English thing my fellow passenger did, "no, no it's quite all right," to the mildly indifferent parent. I think I'd have been a typically blunt Scotsman and put a little bit of the fear of God into the little Angels....didn't do me any harm, and I learnt how to be well behaved very quickly...my Mum had this look and Dad just moved his hand slightly, yet never had to "dod yer lugs" (clip your ear.) Obviously I do not necessarily condone corporal punishment...but I have practiced my Mums look, and it works.
Anyway after the water pistol incident we the had 5 minutes of the kids fighting over a seat, literally. This time a very nice lady, and gentleman suffered, as stray feet and fists missed their intended mark. Again both said nothing (why?) There was a palpable sense of relief when the Angels and their indifferent parent left the train a couple of stops ago.
But I don't blame the kids. They had been penned in as we always are, feeling hot and stuffy, but lacking the inhibitions of the average adult. They were happy to let us all know what they thought of the experience "but I'm bored and I'm hot mummy....and she's in my seat now...lots not fair" and (I loved this) "why is that mans bag on the seat? That lady has to stand now. Does he have to buy a ticket for his bag?"
They know what it feels like to travel on FGW. But maybe their last question sums up why people bring the kids on the train. No holding back from them, instead their inquisitive little minds ask the questions adults are now to afraid to. I'm not sure if that's worth the mayhem they can cause but maybe we should take a leaf from their books and ask the same questions of our fellow travellers whenever they are a little selfish. And maybe we should all invest in water pistols so we can squirt the little angels back?
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Ouch...there goes the mad scooter lady of Reading
As I stood waiting patiently to disembark at Reading having resigned myself once again to having missed my connecting train due to late arrival I heard a rustle of movement behind me. Fellow passengers were clutching ankles and shins as a strange,colourful aspiration whizzed past them. As the apparition got closer I realised it was a small, eccentrically dressed lady carrying a folder micro scooter. She was wearing a pink bobble hat, green body warmer, pink and purple hooped jumper, beige skirt, bright red tights, and yellow trainers.
"'scuse me" she'd mutter as she shoved past her patient passengers, wearing a very anxious look on her face, before whacking them with the micro scooter. She was a woman on a mission. I tried to avoid the whack, but there was no where to go...my left ankle is still a bit tender from the scooters impact. She pushed through leaving a trail of devastation in her wake. On into the adjoining carriage, the buffet and dinning car she went, gathering speed too.
I thought given her pace I'd never see her again. Then I heard the tannoy announcement "would passengers in coach F kindly refrain from entering coach G as we are serving hot meals and trying to get throu there is a health and safety hazard." As we slowed and made our way into the station I saw her approaching the door which I would exit from, looking even more anxious and determined....and with what looked like gravy dripping down her body warmer. I managed to position myself for a quick exit by the door...and as we stopped was soon on the platform, away from the colourful whirlwind of womanhood. How wrong I as "'scuse me"... Whack....shin this time....and off she sped into the crowd. I hope she got there on time, wherever there was.
"'scuse me" she'd mutter as she shoved past her patient passengers, wearing a very anxious look on her face, before whacking them with the micro scooter. She was a woman on a mission. I tried to avoid the whack, but there was no where to go...my left ankle is still a bit tender from the scooters impact. She pushed through leaving a trail of devastation in her wake. On into the adjoining carriage, the buffet and dinning car she went, gathering speed too.
I thought given her pace I'd never see her again. Then I heard the tannoy announcement "would passengers in coach F kindly refrain from entering coach G as we are serving hot meals and trying to get throu there is a health and safety hazard." As we slowed and made our way into the station I saw her approaching the door which I would exit from, looking even more anxious and determined....and with what looked like gravy dripping down her body warmer. I managed to position myself for a quick exit by the door...and as we stopped was soon on the platform, away from the colourful whirlwind of womanhood. How wrong I as "'scuse me"... Whack....shin this time....and off she sped into the crowd. I hope she got there on time, wherever there was.
Monday, 2 April 2012
Let me tell you where to stick that whistle....
Why oh why when FGW insist on running overcrowded trains do platform attendants/supervisors/guards or whatever else those fluorescent coated numpties are called do they insist on blowing their whistles shrilly from the moment the trains pull into the stations, and at times before doors upon until the point when all those who were playing sardines make their escape and all who wish to travel onward, again often in overcrowded conditions manage to squeeze on board? What exactly does it achieve?
Maybe it is part of some strange fitness routine to increase lung capacity? Maybe the fluorescent jacketed numpties are practicing for the role of football or rugby referees? All I know is that the last thing you want as you fight your way off or onto the train is to have someone blowing a whistle by your ear. And it's not as if the habit is confined to London bound journeys. The same thing happens as you stand in a crowd trying to board the train. I swear today's whistle happy soul has damaged my ear drums.
And to what end? No one can physically get off, or on any quicker...well safely, I could use my Rugby Union skills to my advantage, but do believe people would get hurt in the process...and I am to much. Of a gentleman for that.
So what is the answer...well for a start let me tell you where to stick that fecking whistle!
Maybe it is part of some strange fitness routine to increase lung capacity? Maybe the fluorescent jacketed numpties are practicing for the role of football or rugby referees? All I know is that the last thing you want as you fight your way off or onto the train is to have someone blowing a whistle by your ear. And it's not as if the habit is confined to London bound journeys. The same thing happens as you stand in a crowd trying to board the train. I swear today's whistle happy soul has damaged my ear drums.
And to what end? No one can physically get off, or on any quicker...well safely, I could use my Rugby Union skills to my advantage, but do believe people would get hurt in the process...and I am to much. Of a gentleman for that.
So what is the answer...well for a start let me tell you where to stick that fecking whistle!
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