As I sit here on platform 9 waiting for the delayed 2309, I thought I'd tell the tale of G a true knight of the rails and hero of FGW.
On a similarly late journey home I and a number of others found ourselves in a carriage with 3 rather annoying chaps who never tired of making neighing noises and laughing. From Slough, through Reading and up to Goring they continued their jolly japes. Then G entered the carriage.
"Tickets and passes" was his war cry. The 3 young man produced their tickets. "How old are you?" asked G, eyes narrowing in the same way that Dirty Harry's do when he asks if someone is feeling lucky.
"16" they all answered, puffing out their chests in a 'and we obviously look a lot older' kind of way. G scrutinised the tickets and began to smile..."Oh dear'" he said, "you've bought child tickets, these are only valid if you are 15 or under." The neighing stopped and a similar silence as that heard in old westerns when a stranger enters the saloon fell over the carriage.
G broke the silence "where are you going?"
"Oxford," all 3 said as one, then one broke ranks "but I'm not really 15, he is," pointing at his mate opposite, "but we're not," pointing to his mate beside him.
G smiled, "Genteleman, we can do this the easy way, or you can make it hard for yourselves (he really was channeling his inner Dirty Harry.) You are either over 16 so can pay £20 to upgrade all your tickets, or when we arrive at Cholsey you can leave the train."
He then went silent....
After a few protests the one proclaimed to be the eldest said "How much was that again?"
Well played G, you are a giant amongst ticket inspectors, and the little buggers didn't utter another word.
Oh and if anyone's wondering the train I was waiting for was 12 minutes late when it arrived, and there are a larger group of annoying youths on board. Where's G when you need him?
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