Elbow in the ribs or handbag up the...?

....Arse? This question came to mind as I stood on an cover crowded train with a blokes elbow in my ribs and a woman's handbag rammed against my buttocks. The train is like this every night when I get on at Ealing Broadway. It always only has 3 over flowing carriages. I often ponder what difference an extra carriage would make, would I have an elbow in my ribs or a handbag shoving against my jacksie? And should I really be so annoyed by these invasions of my personal space, especially as I manage not to stick my elbows in anyone's ribs, and my laptop bag goes out of the way onto the parcel shelf? And why does a simple "excuse me would mind removing your elbow from my rib cage or your handbag from my cheeks" cause such apparent offence? It seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me. It's not as if I am retaliating in anyway. Well that's it from me, will be interested in hearing what you'd prefer, an elbow in the ribs or a handbag up the arse....as for me....the elbow wins.